This story has been weighing heavily on my heart for the
past few days since I first heard about it. As both a student of bioethics and
as a nurse working in palliative care with many terminally ill patients, this
story strikes at a particular passion of mine.
My heart and prayers do go out for Brittany and her family.
I can't imagine being faced with such a diagnosis. Perhaps this story hits an
even stronger emotional chord with me since Brittany and I are so similar in
age. However, I strongly believe that her choice to commit suicide is not one
to applaud.
Planning for one's death is a good thing, and a brave thing
- although we don't like talking about it, it is a great and loving idea to
discuss (better yet- put in writing) our end-of-life wishes with our closest
loved ones. This can save a family (and healthcare team) a lot of stress and
anxiety since they can know that they are honoring your wishes. There are
aspects of Brittany's "death plan" that are bitter-sweetly beautiful,
but much of these things could be accomplished without the use of suicide.
Fundamentally, the thing that disturbs me most deeply about
the idea of ending life on our own terms is that it neglects to realize that
beautiful things can come even from disability and suffering. I worry about the
kind of message we send other terminally ill patients as we applaud Brittany's
plan - in essence we are saying to them "Your life is not worth living
because you are no longer beautiful, strong, pain-free, and of sound mind. It
probably would have been better if you had ended it all sooner so you wouldn't
have to suffer and wouldn't have been a burden to your family." I can say
that I have met some of the most beautiful people in my past couple of months
as a palliative care nurse - to me, the
truly dignified and brave ones are those who carry through the loss of both
"form and function" onto the end. It has been said that "there is no shortcut through grief". The shortening of a life does not equate with the lessening of grief for those bereaved.
I also worry that the legalization of
physician-assisted-suicide is the beginning of a slippery slope towards
euthanasia (the taking of someone's life when it is deemed too painful to be
endured). Although current law prohibits this type of action, it is only a baby
step from applauding someone's choice for suicide and applauding a daughter's
choice to end her mother's suffering and slow decline into debility from
Alzheimer's.
For those who might have a loved one facing terminal (or
even chronic-to-terminal) illness, I encourage you to seek out a good
palliative care team (www.getpalliativecare.org) Different than hospice,
palliative care is appropriate at all stages of a serious illness and is
compatible with aggressive disease treatment/management. It combines expert
symptom control with a truly holistic approach to healthcare. The goal of
palliative care is to improve both the patient and family's quality of life for
however long they have left together. If you want more info - feel free to
message me.
Now, that being said - there is an important difference
between ending one's own life and allowing natural death to take place. It is
totally ethically and morally acceptable to say - "I'm done with this
intense treatment - please let me go naturally." Or "I don't want to
live on a ventilator or have CPR preformed if I should experience cardiac
arrest." This too is a brave option. In my personal Christian worldview, I
do not see a reason to cling to this earthly life like it is all I've got - I
have the hope of heaven. :)
This is a difficult and emotional topic and I thank those of
you who have read my comments to the end. In closing, I encourage you to check
out this beautiful and eloquent open letter written to Brittany by a young mom
facing terminal breast cancer.
